I just wanted to dance. Before I could even begin to move in the direction of the stage, I took one glance at the illuminated festival Ferris wheel swirling ahead and the acid hit my brain like a bolt of lightning. In that instant all of my senses merged.
I could taste sounds, smell the music, and literally see my feelings. This was death, I felt certain of it. The world as I knew it disappeared, and while I could no longer feel my body, my mind got busy imagining my demise in vivid, graphic, Technicolor. Gory, violent, blood curdling. Vicious ends that felt oh too real.
At one point I was hit by a steam-train in the middle of the desert. The next I was being eaten alive by rattle snakes. Next, I was a victim to the desert sun as its rays pierced my skin and melted my flesh to the bone.
Then came a silence. A complete and utter black quiet in my head. A temporary respite from that torment that followed. I could feel the pain of the entire Universe. Immense and immeasurable, agonizing torture. I felt the Universe inside of me and all of its desperate misery. The whole room became filled with gold, as if by a strong sun. The walls turned to gold, the bedcover was gold, my whole body was becoming gold, liquid gold, scintillating, warm gold.
I was GOLD. It was the most pleasurable sensation I had ever known, like an orgasm. From the feeling of intense cold, as if I were chloroformed, of loss of gravity of the legs, and diminution in size, I passed to the sensation of being gold. Suddenly I was weeping, weeping. I could feel the tears and I saw the handkerchief in my hand.
Weeping to the point of dissolution. Why should I be weeping? I could see Gil smiling, and realized the absurdity of weeping when traveling through space. As soon as the concept of absurdity struck me, the comic spirit appeared again. What a ridiculous thing to spoil a voyage through space by weeping.
You liquefy, become fluid, flow back into the ocean where the colors are more beautiful. Everything is more wonderful under water than in space? It is alive and it breathes. My world is so beautiful, so beautiful, but so fragile. I was pleading for protection of this evanescent beauty. I thought I was the quickest mind alive and the quickest with words, but words cannot catch up with these transformations, metamorphoses.
They are beyond words, beyond words. The Oriental cities vanished and the infinite appeared again, but now it was bordered on each side by the celestial gardens of precious stones on silver and gold stems. Temptation not to pursue the infinite, but to enjoy the gardens.
Space is definitely without sensuous appeal. I watched a shoreline of gold waves breaking into solid gold powder and becoming gold foam, and gold hair, shimmering and trembling with gold delights.
Flashback: LSD Creator Drops Acid for the First Time – Rolling Stone
I felt I could capture the secret of life because the secret of life was metamorphosis and transmutation, but it happened too quickly and was beyond word. Interested in reading the rest of this diary? You can find it on Amazon here. Podcaster Mutations. Reader Interactions Comments Anais Nin was such a great female writer, a fellow traveler with the surrealists.
She has inspired so many women writers. No wonder that she was able to write about her LSD trip with such wonder and cosmic joy. It was as if the LSD had to almost keep up with her imagination. But I knew when I first started tripping that I wanted someday to write about it. I did not already have the language skills at my finger tips, in fact it was a real struggle for me. For years I read writers and poets, I lived the Rimbaudian life of a hippie that did not fit into society.
My poet mentor was a crazy acidhead surfer from LA that read a lot of Beat writers when I first met him. Soon he was into the surrealists and any and all fellow travelers. He even met Anais Nin up at the University when she did a reading there once. My poet friend and his sidekick girl friend gave Anais some of their poetry.
I later saw a letter she wrote back to them, with such graciousness. Your email address will not be published. Get every last bite! Our monthly newsletter will keep you up to date in the world of psychedelic culture, art and science. This astrology guide takes you through the zodiac signs, planets, aspects so that you can start reading and interpreting your birth chart and horoscope. Our ultimate guide to Peyote has everything you want to know about this variety of cactus that contains the natural hallucinogenic Mescaline.
I remember they sounded extremely unique! It seemed that music began coming apart and unravelling. My favourite track began to echo in my mind, as if my brain would hear the music played in the present, but while still hanging on to what I had heard a second before. It was like a tape loop that kept on echoing.
Inventor’s papers, shunned by Sandoz, now under the care of Swiss dairy farmer
This led me to look within and I became more aware of myself and the understanding of life, of people, and the music I was listening to. It was a very strange experience as their skin felt so soft, but their eyes, noses and mouths were in some way distorted.
I often felt it took me so long to do certain things, it was like LSD also made time last longer.
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